Safety is not something that I feel rates as very important in Chinese culture. There are numerous instances where, if the situation were in Canada, regular Canadians would be up in arms. Chinese people are, instead, chill. I really do not understand this mindset, as the results could be disastrous. Having lived and traveled in China, then returning home to Toronto, Canada, I have seen so many examples. In potentially dangerous situations I see nothing to gain and much to lose.
At Little Weed’s weekly swimming class a new family has joined. While the older 8yo girl was taking swimming classes, the parents let the 3yo boy change into his swim trunks and sit on the edge of the pool, dangling his feet into the water. As with your typical 3yo boy, he was rambunctious and full of twitchy energy, and did not want to sit in one spot much less listen to his parents, especially his mom.
At about 2.5′ high in height, even in the 3.5′ shallow end he could not stand up for air, much less perched at the deep end’s 4.5′ mark, where he playfully dangled his feet. One of the swim instructors who was teaching, called me over and we agreed that we should keep an eye out for this kid, in the event that he fell in.
I talked to the Mom. I asked her if he could swim. She said “No, this is his first time at a pool”. I then said that if he did fall in this would be disastrous, and maybe he should be sitting at the shallow end. She said that he will listen and not move, so I continued my laps, with an eye out for the little guy.
The Mom was not within arm’s distance from the kid, but within 10 feet, so if the kid did fall in he would not die. One of us swimming nearby would have fished him out before death, but he would have been traumatized for life. Worst case the Mom could have jumped in, clothes on, and grabbed the kid before death. Really, why take the risk? Just so little Wang could splash is feet in the water for an hour? For me that is not a good enough reason to risk traumatizing the kid.
If I explain my concern to my wife, the line of reasoning would go on a much different path. No, I did not personally know the parents. No, they did not ask me for help. No, I have no guanxi with the family. In summary, no, it was not my business. Really, what happens to the boy is not my concern, and I should mind my own business.
If the boy did fall in and the parents complained to the school board, there could have been some trouble for the swim school. The swim school needs a certified life guard on deck at all times, and they have, but they are teaching. No certified life guard in Canada would have allowed this boy to get that near to the deep end, for fear of an accidental fall. This is how we run here in Canada, and this is non-negotiable.
I know that Chinese parents love their kids. Life is not simply “cheap”, as they say. There must be something of a cultural reason for their actions.
My question is why was the mother not even remotely concerned about her son’s possible scare? While he would not have died he would have been traumatized for life, possibly never to learn to swim or go near a pool or water again. What is the benefit that overcomes the risk?
